Son refuses to tell mom when he's off work after she demands he do housework on his days off, he claims he does enough by paying rent: ‘I might as well quit my job’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 7, 2025 2:00 PM EST

If you pay rent to keep living at your parents' home, does that give you a free pass from doing any of the house chores? Or do you still owe it to your parents to help around the house since they let you keep living there, even if it's not free of charge?

The son in the story below doesn't think he is entitled to not help his mom around the house because he pays rent, but he is tired of the way she micromanages him. He will get to his chores in time, and there's no need for her to remind him about it first thing in the morning.

It got to the point where every time he is not at work, his mom complains about all the things he has to do around the house. Now, he considers not telling her when he has days off, simply so he can stop listening to her complaints.

Whose side are you on, the mom or the son? Keep scrolling to read the full story and share your thoughts in the comments below.

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  • 01

    AITA for hiding my days off from my mom?

    I work at a computer and electronics retail chain in the UK (basically a glorified pawn shop but we sell second hand games too), while waiting on better opportunities after getting my degree this June.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 02
    www
    via Michael T

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    My mom works as a teacher. The past week was half term in the UK, and as a teacher, my mom gets the week off.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 04
    Unfortunately, she's been quite ill, so she didn't get to enjoy it at her full capacity, while my work has been more stressful than ever as we have more families and kids than usual visiting the store, and I've had to put in multiple overtime shifts.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 05
    During the week, I had 2 days off, which I spent either accompanying my mom to the doctor and then the pharmacy and doing general shopping on one day, or looking after her and missing a concert I've been planning to go to on the other.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 06
    Luckily, she's recovered mostly, and was meant to be at work today, since it's the Monday back after half term.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 07
    Due to lasting effects of the last doses of her medicine, however, she couldn't sleep properly through the night and decided to take the day off.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 08
    Around noon, she walks into the living room and immediately starts her usual act, berating me.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 09
    No "Good morning", just straight into it. "Why haven't you had breakfast yet? Why did you wake up so late?
    via KoriKosmos
  • 10
    All the clocks need to be changed, why haven't you done that yet? Clean the kitchen.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 11
    Can you go to the shops (an hour round trip) and pick up some milk? I've never seen you not on that game, try to be more productive", and so on.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 12
    Some of these are my weekly responsibilities that I usually do mid week, while some are completely out of the blue.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 13
    I couldn't get a word in, and by the end of it, I was ready to snap.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 14
    I sternly told her that my "day off" tasks, that we've previously agreed upon, would be done by the time she gets home from work, and its not up to her to police when and how I do them, and that if she wanted me to do those other tasks, she could let me know in advance rather than just dropping them all on me today just because she's at home, especially since I have afternoon and evening plans.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 15
    This is where I went over the edge. She scoffed at me, and said something to imply that my plans are unproductive wastes of time.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 16
    I raised my voice, something I regret, and told her that if she measures my productivity by the activities I do on my days off, I might as well quit my job and stop paying rent, especially since they end up being sucked into doing tasks for her anyway.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 17
    I then told her that I would no longer share when my days off are, and if she wanted me to do something other than what we've previously agreed upon, she should tell me in advance.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 18
    Since then, she's not been talking to me, and has been blowing up the family group chats with how "ungrateful" I am.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 19
    I don't think it's unreasonable to want to chill on my days off, especially since I pay rent, but AITA?
    via KoriKosmos
  • 20
    Cheezburger Image 10571991808
    via Oleg Ivanov

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    No_Fault_2268 We don't know how much OP pays for rent.
    via No_Fault_2268
  • 22
    OP KoriKosmos Ultimately, not much, but it's a chunk of my paycheck. I make £900 - £1000 per month and £230\~ combining rent, internet, groceries, etc
    via KoriKosmos
  • 23
    Membership-Bitter Yeah you are paying almost nothing in expenses. Definitely not good for your mom to just dump all those tasks on you since she saw you had the day off but I also think you should be doing more around the house since you are actually contributing so little financially
    via Membership-Bitter
  • 24
    OP KoriKosmos I try to do so, and also adjust how much I pay for rent when it's a good month. Also something I didn't mention because it seems a bit gross to include but I feel like is worth mentioning, but I pay for the "small things" quite often, which adds up. Restaurant outings, minor groceries, medicine, etc, added up to around £210 by themselves last month.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 25
    wesmorgan1 INFO: You wrote: >Around noon, she walks into the living room and immediately starts her usual act, berating me. How long has that "usual act" been going on? It obviously predates the half term...and I think there's more here than you've shared.
    via wesmorgan1
  • 26
    OP KoriKosmos To be honest, a long time, but it used to be deserved. I was arrogant during high school and A-Levels due to my academic prowess, and was lazy around the house and didn't do enough chores, just studied, gamed and slept. Uni really changed me, and after moving back home during my Masters year, I really do try. I take the bins out biweekly, clean my room and bathroom, pay rent, cover the entire internet bill, do minor shopping, etc.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 27
    JerseyKeebs Based on OP's income, he works part time hours, but they might be short shifts if he worked 5 days in a week. I just can't see how they work 40 hours plus overtime and still only earn 900 pounds per month (about $1200 a month in USD). I'm really curious about the chore distribution. The only household chore OP mentions doing is taking out the trash. "Keeping their room clean" is bare minimum adulting. Helping with errands is good, but it sounds like mom has to specifically ask for ea
    via JerseyKeebs
  • 28
    OP KoriKosmos I'm on a 10 hour contract, which means that I'm guaranteed to work at minimum 10 hours a week, which is why I initially signed up for this job, thinking it would be "part time". Without giving away too much about where I work, we've lost 3 staff over the last 1.5 months, and thus everyone's hours have been boosted up. The week before half term, for example, I worked 55+ hours (including overtime), which is why I gave a range. In terms of chores, it's quite a reasonable expectation,
    via KoriKosmos
  • 29
    JerseyKeebs One thing to consider, if you want to keep living at home and get along with your mom, is how you contribute to the house. Your mom woke up and the kitchen was dirty - who dirtied it? If you keep your room clean, who's job is it to clean the entire rest of the household? Is your mom perhaps tired of doing everything around the house, and telling you to clean dirty things, and just silently wishing you'd see a mess and just clean it without asking? Who finished the last of the milk, a
    via JerseyKeebs
  • 30
    OP KoriKosmos To be honest, the range is what I was earning around 3 months ago. In a separate comment, I've tried to explain in the past few months, my hours have basically doubled/tripled due to coworkers leaving, but I was using an old payslip. My rota for last week was 41 hours alone without overtime, for example. As for your other points, it's expected of me to do these tasks no matter the context. For example, the kitchen needs to go through the same 2hr deep cleaning no matter if it's act
    via KoriKosmos
  • 31
    Taisiecat Well, you're a week late changing the clocks, so maybe she has a point!
    via Taisiecat
  • 32
    OP KoriKosmos It just kinda slipped my mind that it's even needed to fix, but at the same time, I feel like she can at least mention it before getting upset that it hasn't been fixed.
    via KoriKosmos
  • 33
    Individual_Ad_9213 NTA; this sounds an awful lot like a parent who doesn't understand or who doesn't care that their working child does need time off. It may be time for you to start looking for a roommate so that you can move out and not have to answer to your mom's extra demands on your free time.
    via Individual_Ad_9213

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family drama aita kids mother reddit story parenting family Reddit women parents children job housework house work paying rent home
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